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Quit Playing Games February 8, 2008

Posted by ashleysguide in Uncategorized.

Girls often lament that they can’t keep up with the games guys play, but they’re often just as guilty as the males. Dating games are based around misleading the other person and withholding information. Even when you’re not trying, sometimes games can slip in. Want to keep your player side in checkmate? Here’s how:

Make the First Move
Sure, there’s always that awkward period when you’re not sure if your crush likes you. It’s this uncertainty, though, that often spawns most dating games. Passing messages through friends, dropping hints and the like may seem like a good idea at the time, but they also invite a plethora of people in to the relationship early on. If you really like a guy, try being more direct. If you can skip all of the nonsense, ask him out first. You’ll get to find out where his head is a lot quicker than if you have to relay a subtle message though Sally, Jane, Timmy and Ryan in the process.

Pick up the Check
Traditionally, a guy pays for all dates, and a girl’s family pays for the wedding. Tradition changes, though, and this divide is no longer hard-and-fast. Many girls will reach for the check even if they have no intention to pay- just to see if the guy will object. Others will make themselves scarce when the bill comes at dinner. If you want to show you care and want the relationship to work long-term, don’t be afraid to pay sometimes.

Don’t be Afraid to Call
Three days? Twenty-four hours? If you really like a guy, don’t set a time limit on when he should call. And don’t be afraid to call him. People get busy, phone numbers get lost and nerves kick in. If you had a great time, chances are he did too. Giving him a call to tell him you enjoyed his company and want to see him again isn’t playing games. Monitoring your calls and waiting three days for no real reason is just not worth it.

Speak Your Mind
I’m sure you’ve heard the Match.com commercial where Dr. Phil tells women men don’t have a clue what they want. It’s true. Hints and wishes are only going to get you so far. If you really like it when your boyfriend rubs your back, tell him. If you wish he would call to say good morning, tell him. More often than not, if he’s into you he’ll be happy to oblige.

Don’t Try Changing Him
There will always be little quirks about a person- no one is perfect. Trying to make someone perfect will drive you nuts and kill a relationship. Sure, his nail biting may be nerve-racking, but he’s got to want to stop- you can’t make him. If you try to force change, you can kiss the relationship goodbye.

The bottom line is to keep games out while still keeping communication flowing. The basis of any great relationship is conversation. Once you feel comfortable enough to talk openly with your sweetie, you’ll find it easy to throw games out the window.